Wednesday, April 15, 2020

On finding home

Home is something that is incredibly important to me. For a long time I felt a sense of 'home'. It filled my days with busyness, laughter, chatter, and food. Always food.

Home was warm. Home was welcoming. Home was safe from the outside world.

Yet, there came a point in time when the outside world crept in and collided with my inner world.

The home I had known, and taken so much comfort in, was slowly deconstructed as the people in that home parted and went separate ways.

For a long time I felt like my home had lost its heartbeat. That silent, steady rhythm that keeps things flowing from one day to the next, throughout the seasons. "Home" became a house. Functional in nature, yet lacking that sense of warmth and comfort that I had known so well.

The outside world beckoned. Invitations of work, travel, study and volunteering emerged. I found comfort in the busyness of life outside of the house. Free from confining walls, the outside world felt like home.

Time passed.

A small garden had began to grow. A pet or two arrived. Friends shared time with me in this new space I now called 'home'. Music, laughter and conversations infused the rooms. Gradually, the sense of home began to return. I was beginning to understand that we carry our 'homes' within, and the physical space we inhabit is simply a reflection of this sense of home we are experiencing internally. We can choose to share our 'home' with others or keep it locked inside us. The latter goes against the grain of what home means to me. Home for me involves sharing experiences, and creating a space for comfort and safety, for both myself and the people in my world.

It seems strange to find small blessings in a situation that is taking so many lives. With most of us currently required to 'stay at home' I am finding comfort in things that have been dormant for so long. At last, my sense of home is truly returning as I fill my space with tangible reflections of my thoughts, dreams and plans. In this mixed-up, confusing time, it feels like a missing puzzle piece is slotting into place. I wonder if others are experiencing small blessings too, and what this might look like for them.

This picture was taken in 2015, when I was traveling through Scotland with my mum and brother.
I was so far away from 'home',  yet had never felt more at home in my life.


I hope you are staying safe
xo


5 comments:

  1. So glad you have started to blog again...I loved posting my Slow Living Essentials along with you years ago. This pandemic is unbelievable in terms of cases, deaths and the financial loss it's unimaginable however I think people being forced to stay home, enjoy the simple things without distraction of restaurants, shopping, cinemas and the like I'm sure people are stopping and slowing down for the first time in many many years. Our lives are pretty much the same with the exception of catching up with family and a couple of girlfriends for a coffee once a week and perhaps I realize how many times I pop into the supermarket to pick up something. Over the last 6 weeks I have been making one trip to the shops a week and that's it. Lots are people who have never baked bread before are learning to make bread and hot cross buns. There is always a silver lining even in these scary times. Stay safe, happy to come across your blog again. Kathy, Brisbane

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    1. Hi Kathy, great to hear from you. Take care :)

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  2. I know for myself, life has certainly slowed down and it is disconcerting. In the midst of the madness in the outside world, I've managed to change jobs and may not meet my colleagues in person for several months. In between times it seems that there is extra time to catch up with friends, write letters, read books and watch screenings of shows that I might not otherwise have had a chance to see. It's making me realise how much time I wasted doing "not much at all" and have nothing to show for it. The only major change is trying to limit my endless viewing of the news channels as it seems to be constantly regurgitating the same stuff with endless speculation that doesn't go anywhere. I'm glad to rediscover your blog again.

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  3. It's really interesting comparing how we spent our time previously to how we spend it now. Hopefully the speculation will end soon and we'll have more insight in how to move forward.

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  4. This is a lovely post.

    I have always loved everything about home. A place of refuge away from the world, a place where I raised my family, a place where family and friends are always welcome, a place where I can be myself and do what I enjoy most. At the moment it is spending time in the garden and planning more veggies to grow. It takes my mind off the other happenings outside my front gate. As Geoff Lawton says "you can solve all the worlds problems in a garden". Unfortunately solving the worlds problems at the moment is a mammoth task, but the garden is my safe space to hang out and ease my mind.

    Take care,
    xTania

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Hi there, it's so nice of you to stop by! Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I love hearing what you are up to. Chris x